Tuesday, 1 July 2014

An Unusual Dream

An Unusual Dream

A long forgotten incident of my childhood came into my dream a few days back. The visuals I had in my dream was very vivid. It was quite surprising for me since it was one such incident which was not at all significant for me now. And I never had recollected that in the near past. Fine..A mere coincidence. Thats all!!! I din't have time to waste thinking about that dream again. I had my exams, project viva, dance programs and the list goes unending. As usual, after one day, I totally forgot about that dream. But again, I saw it. I mean the same dream again. And it came to me again and again and again until it started to bother me, disturb me. Then, I felt it as a reminder for me on a buried past.

Now, let me turn the pages to a chapter which happened in my life more than 2 decades back. I was 2 or 3 then. I am not exactly certain about my age. From my mother I knew that I was a very dreamy kind of girl. But that doesn't mean, I was very silent, immersed in my dream and my world. Certainly not! I was too talkative and too active always troubling my parents with my bubbling energy. But my parents found something unusual in my behavior especially in my talks. I always used to mention about a friend named 'appu' to them. And I didn't have any Appu in my class. That increased the worry of my parents. They consulted their doctor friend about my Appu and the doctor made a final convincing statement that it is very normal for kids to create 'imaginary friends'. Anyhow, that relived my parents and they too started to talk to Appu through me believing that Appu is a creation of my genius brain. Gradually, they won in convincing me that Appu never existed at all and was a mere creation of my creative mind. Whatever, even I got convinced sooner or later, and gradually Appu disappeared from my life and eventually even the memory of Appu vanished completely from me.

But, in the dream I saw Appu very clearly as before. All his features, eyes, smile everything came vivid into my memory again. But, the peculiarity about this particular dream is that I could not recollect Appu once I wake up. I just know that I saw Appu very clearly, but, I don't remember how he appeared. That really troubled me. I generally remember most of my dreams even after waking up. But, this one, even though I see this same dream frequently, I can't recollect. What a phenomenon!! I wish, I had the ability to draw so that I could at least recreate whatever vague memory I have about Appu. 

Later, I started seeing this incident as something which required more attention rather than again discarding it as my creative imagination. I discussed about this with my parents again. But they too seemed to have forgotten about the minute details I used to say about Appu. I started searching, reading and discussing about dreams and childhood imaginations. Then, somehow I started believing that Appu was not my creation and what if there really existed an Appu whom I could see, talk and play with.  I don't know. I still don't know. 

But, the most painful part is that, I stopped having Appu's dreams now. Appu again disappeared without giving me any notice as before.  Unfortunately, I am not able to recollect any details of the dream now. He could have been a spirit, an ET, a multidimensional astral traveler, whoever be, please my dear Appu, I wish to see you again. Waiting eagerly to meet Appu again.